tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post3067791561515154839..comments2024-02-01T17:19:36.475-05:00Comments on My heart goes out...: Reprint of Ray Boltz' original "coming out" article: "Key Changes" by Joey DiGuglielmo, Washington Blade, Sept. 12, 2008Carolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14545146592743875490noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-28539389393759918542012-03-01T07:00:59.346-05:002012-03-01T07:00:59.346-05:00Thanks for your comment, Jim. I know there are so...Thanks for your comment, Jim. I know there are so many in church who feel rejected. It's good to know that you are at one where you know acceptance. I wish I had time to write more, both blogging and writing back to you, but I have to get to work this morning. I wish you a lot of love and hope things continue to go well for you. :)Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545146592743875490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-78137530134678545072012-02-27T16:29:47.210-05:002012-02-27T16:29:47.210-05:00Thanks for sharing this story. I spent years, not...Thanks for sharing this story. I spent years, not only in the church, but in Christian retail as well. Ray's albums were consistently among our top sellers. I had struggled with my sexual orientation for years, beleiving the church and a relationship with God to be the "escape" I needed. I even deepened the facade during a ten year marriage. In 1997, my marriage fell apart as I reached a point where I too, could no longer live a lie. I walked away from the church and began the process of building a new life for myself. I was surprised, as well as encouraged,when I first read of Ray's coming out. I found I was able to relate to his new music, probably better than even his older material. It felt fresh and honest. Recently, I have made contact with a church that unconditionally accepts people, regardless of whatever issues they face. This past week, I went to church for the first time in over 15 years and truly felt welcome. Ray will be coming to town soon, sponsored by this same church. I hope to be able to attend and share some time with someone who knows the struggles I've gone thru.Jim Davishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03932591776462115651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-61845304386995413732010-04-27T09:34:56.440-04:002010-04-27T09:34:56.440-04:00FYI - Gay weekly D.C. Agenda sets a memorable date...<b>FYI - Gay weekly D.C. Agenda sets a memorable date: The return of The Washington Blade</b>: <br /><br />http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/26/AR2010042602653.html?wprss=rss_metro/dcAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-64292534949883324432010-04-26T11:39:41.565-04:002010-04-26T11:39:41.565-04:00Liz-BR,
"Just dealing with semantics..."...Liz-BR, <br />"Just dealing with semantics..."<br />Writing, speaking etc. IS semantics. <br /><br />If you would like to use the Bible let us do so...but in balance.<br />Eph 5:22 "Wives,submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."<br />Perhaps you will dismiss the Holy Spirit's command for women through Paul as simply semantics?<br /><br />The flip side of that is men are to "love and give themselves to their wives, as Christ gave Himself." It is the perfect balance in a marriage, which I have seen modeled hundreds of times in very well adjusted contented, happy famalies.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-3945786809256125092010-04-25T17:02:10.161-04:002010-04-25T17:02:10.161-04:00Light of Dawn - very nice post!Light of Dawn - very nice post!Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545146592743875490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-37788550135655783852010-04-25T16:35:30.944-04:002010-04-25T16:35:30.944-04:00Anonymous -- first of all, can I suggest that you ...Anonymous -- first of all, can I suggest that you pick a name, even a fake one, so that we know when you are the one commenting, and when someone else is? You can do that easily by choosing the Name/URL button when you post your comments.<br /><br />Second, concerning the "presumed fact." You're just dealing with semantics here. The fact of the matter is that there are closeted gay Christians in the church. <br /><br />The presumption is that there were probably a bunch of them at the big Promise Keepers event in DC, simply because of the numbers.<br /><br />There. End of the issue.<br /><br />Now, as for what you seem to believe are less-than-founded criticisms against Promise Keepers, I don't know how the quoted statements above can be dismissed as anything but anti-woman. Considering that Galatians states that in Christ there is no significant difference between men and women, any group that actively promotes the idea that God specifically calls men and NOT women shows a disregard for Scripture.Liz BRhttp://lizboltzranfeld.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-69112688467255484912010-04-23T13:50:41.396-04:002010-04-23T13:50:41.396-04:00Dear Carol,
Disagreeing is fine...
Using a "...Dear Carol, <br />Disagreeing is fine...<br />Using a "presumed fact" is not. It it a presumption or is it fact?<br />The arguements used for Promise Keepers being bigoted against women are at best weak. Of this, perhaps we will just agree to disagree.<br />It greatly concerns me the over generalizations that some Christians make toward homosexuals that come off as very hateful, and ignorant. They will give an account to our Lord. <br />Just as some who would defend what is clearly unnatural and unbiblical will.<br />I wish you and your family God's best...again, peace...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-19438990623854520472010-04-23T13:30:13.376-04:002010-04-23T13:30:13.376-04:00The "largest gathering of gay men" is a ...The "largest gathering of gay men" is a tongue in cheek reference to how many closeted and married gay men are in the churches. It isn't a statistic, but an acknowledgment of presumed fact.<br /><br />In regards to anti-feminism, I looked up some examples from PK speakers. Here is what I came up with:<br /><br />Tony Evans: ". . . I believe that feminists of the more aggressive persuasion are frustrated women unable to find the proper male leadership..." and here he talked about marriage roles: "I am not suggesting that you ask for your role back, I am urging you to take it back. There can be no compromise here.” <br /><br />Ami Neiberger quoted Bill McCartney, from 1992, just two years after he began PK: ""There's coming a day when the strongest voice in America will be that of a Christian male." To me, that sounds like he's disregarding women and their influence in the church of America. The fact that the rallies have been 100% male shows that they don't want or feel the need to have women bring a "strong voice" into America. <br /><br />David Sweet, who founded the Canadian branch of Promise Keepers is quoted here: "Men are natural influencers, whether we like it or not. There's a particular reason why Jesus called men only. It's not that women aren't co-participators. It's because Jesus knew women would naturally follow." <br /><br />hmmm...ignorant? No, I simply disagree. And again, the article was not written by ME.Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545146592743875490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-28984097438727176992010-04-23T12:32:10.198-04:002010-04-23T12:32:10.198-04:00Dear Carol,
Promise Keepers, the "largest g...Dear Carol, <br /><br />Promise Keepers, the "largest gathering of gay men EVER..."<br />Was there a survey done, please quote it? Or did you just "hear it." <br />As far as "they belittle women's rights.." please give an example.<br />I presume your desire is that people not judge others based upon ignorance? Or ignorant statements?<br />These statements...well, are.<br />peace....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-51280857339416408752010-04-23T12:12:46.178-04:002010-04-23T12:12:46.178-04:00I've heard it said that the Promise Keepers ra...I've heard it said that the Promise Keepers rally in Washington, D.C. was probably the largest assembly of gay men EVER. But that's not what you are asking about, so, I'll explain why it is referred to as "controversial."<br /><br />1) Promise Keepers elevates male-dominated families, with little regard for female empowerment or influence. As a group they belittle women's rights and asert male control in families.<br />2) Racially, they are led by white men, with little input of blacks, hispanics, or any other ethnic groups. This contributes to what is already true of most charismatic churches: white male priviledge. <br />3) I didn't write the article.Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545146592743875490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-6405614804303677952010-04-23T11:29:55.355-04:002010-04-23T11:29:55.355-04:00Promise Keepers is "controversial." Beca...Promise Keepers is "controversial." Because it teaches biblically that a husband should love, give himself and serve his wife, but a man who desires to have sex with another man is "coming out," and persecuted?<br />There is something just a bit twisted about the logic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-61145130077076248852010-04-19T09:14:54.250-04:002010-04-19T09:14:54.250-04:00Carol,
I really admire you and I hope you know tha...Carol,<br />I really admire you and I hope you know that. You are a wonderful woman! I can't express enough how much I admire you.<br /><br />I have seen marriages like yours where the woman has fought in court to keep visitation rights away from their father due to his lifestyle. This was mom's with younger children.<br /><br />I have witnessed women with older children like your fight and have strife to turn their children against their father. <br /><br />But, you are like no other : )<br />I have saw pictures on FB with your family all together with you and their dad. Everyone seems so happy. Better than what mine does with my ex...lol<br /><br />I looked at your old blog and I was watching your kids dance at your son's wedding. I love that song and it was a great way to start my day by watching so much happiness and fun!<br /><br />God Bless You Carol!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-40185553863519071962010-04-18T19:47:05.071-04:002010-04-18T19:47:05.071-04:00Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
I know this has ...Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!<br /><br />I know this has been rough on you and your family, I also know that Rays music opened a place inside me that helped me to Accept Christ in my life. Like Ray I too had a secret I lived with most of my life hoping that one day it would go away. Unlike Ray I am not Gay-- I am transsexual --. I know the courage it took for him to finally say enough...I can't lie any longer. I came out to my family just before Christmas 2006. I wish I could have had the support you have given Ray let him know he is in my prayers as are you and your family.<br />Jayne A MAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-80683397622211461022010-04-18T00:41:53.718-04:002010-04-18T00:41:53.718-04:00Wow. Just wow. I wish my husband could be as ope...Wow. Just wow. I wish my husband could be as open, honest and authentic as Ray has been. But he's a coward who's hidden behind me for decades and who used me to make himself socially acceptable. When I learned he was gay and saw he'd been living a secret life of promiscuous sexual encounters, many of them in our home and in the marital bed when I was gone, I knew I had to get out before he sucked me into the gutter along with him. <br /><br />At moments I hate him with a vengeance. At others I pray for him to come to grips with who he is and lead an open and honest life as a gay man.<br /><br />Sadly, his family members are probably amongst those who send you and Ray hate mail, so my husband will probably never come out. He's shoved me and our children into the closet with him. He's led them to believe I asked for a divorce because he had AN affair with a woman. I started counting the number of men he's been with and stopped at three dozen because it was just too depressing to count further. The last one was the one who transmitted HIV to him.<br /><br />Anyway, keep up the good work.Shel Baxternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-30682730648056676512010-04-17T12:56:27.051-04:002010-04-17T12:56:27.051-04:00To anonymous at 11:47 - No, I think the right deci...To anonymous at 11:47 - No, I think the right decision was made. If you look at the coverage that continued to reference Ray's announcement/interview, you will see the kind, no, the TYPE of "understanding" there was in the Christian media - little to none, as well as a LOT of criticism. The Blade reached plenty of people that needed to hear what Ray communicated.Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545146592743875490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-49551439081053843472010-04-17T11:47:14.113-04:002010-04-17T11:47:14.113-04:00Hi Carol,
I am surprised that Ray decided to &qu...Hi Carol, <br /><br />I am surprised that Ray decided to "out" himself in a gay publication, rather than a Christian publication.<br /><br />Gay publications tend not to be a little like the gay ghetto...sometimes with personal ads in the back that are a little questionable.<br /><br />I would think there would be some Christian publication that would be a little more understanding and welcoming.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-89754606787992195122010-04-17T08:29:35.468-04:002010-04-17T08:29:35.468-04:00I just copied and pasted it. :)
Evidently Joey m...I just copied and pasted it. :)<br /><br />Evidently Joey made an error or there was a typo. Maybe that's why we no longer have the Washington Blade.Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545146592743875490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-52598782116334985682010-04-17T01:56:49.878-04:002010-04-17T01:56:49.878-04:00I realize you're just reposting someone else&#...I realize you're just reposting someone else's piece, but the word he was looking for is tenets, not tenants. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6023809369245556096.post-74751484022189590052010-04-17T01:13:01.167-04:002010-04-17T01:13:01.167-04:00Great article/interview. Thanks for reprinting it....Great article/interview. Thanks for reprinting it.<br /><br /><i>The early months in Florida felt strange and different, but also liberating.<br />His faith was in transition — <b>tenants</b> he’d adhered to all his life suddenly were up for reconsideration, but there was a peace he hadn’t felt before.</i><br /><br />FYI - The word is "tenets," not "tenants." "Tenants" are leased-space residents/occupants. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com