Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Heart talk

Our hearts are fragile things, and all of us have one. I'm not talking about medical issues, but those intangible feelings that make or break us - love, heartache, loss, pride, happiness, peace, anger, forgiveness.

Today I realized that I have recently signed two comments on my friend, Peterson's, blog, with the closing, "my heart goes out to you." I was responding to another wife, like me, of a gay man. She, like me, had all of the emotions to deal with when this deep secret was revealed. I can't know how best to help this woman, but I knew that I could identify and share what has helped me. By closing in the way I did, I hope that she knows that someone else has been where she is today, and I lived through it.

Somehow I have made it out of my Christian fundamentalism, and the misconceptions of homosexuality that I had previously known, to a bigger understanding of gay people. My faith has been shaken, but it is still there. Without sounding presumptuous, and I surely don't have all the answers to so many questions, I have grown more than I even thought or dreamed possible.

Many things have helped me in the past [almost] four years, and there are ways that hope has entered my life and my heart. I hope that I can offer that to other wives of gay men, and perhaps to my friends who read this, too.

Keith Olberman on Prop 8

So many times I find that someone else says what I mean in ways better than I do. Here is an expample of that, and, rightly so. Keith Olberman is a professional communicator. While I'm not that, I do have some things I want to say to go along with this.

Earlier this year my former husband officially and publicly came "out" as a gay man. I had gone through the shock of that nearly 4 years previously, gone through the pain, heartache, sadness, and grief. Gone through the near-loss of faith in Christ, gone through dealing with so many, many questions. Fortunately, although I still experience many normal emotions of dealing with all this, I proudly stand with him as someone who loves and affirms the relationships of gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender individuals. And if it means anything, I want to post this video statement by Mr. Olberman.