Tuesday, January 18, 2011

You really want to be my facebook friend? Here ya go...

Hi (potential fb friend),

How cool are you?  On facebook, no less!  I got your friend request, and you should know that I share some pretty controversial topics and articles, mostly in the hope that it will stretch some minds and hearts.  I'm very gay-affirming, as I realized when Ray disclosed that he was gay that he didn't choose that.  He was born with the unique make-up that God gave him, and although he tried his best, it never changed or went away. 

Ray and I were stuck with a very difficult choice to face that fact, and I know that no amount of prayer or effort would ever make him straight.  He has always lived a good life, and he was a good husband and dad.  I have nothing against him AT ALL.  Although it has brought great pain to my life, I know that God orchestrated our lives, not any choice that Ray made. 

If that is okay with you, I will be glad to add you as a friend.  It's not open for dispute, just so you know how I feel.  Still want to add me? 

hugs,
Carol

7 comments:

Amy E. Hall said...

"Like"! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm an 18 year old self-accepting gay guy struggling with the question of whether I should take the next step of coming out on Facebook. It's difficult for me because I am worried about particular individuals on my friends list finding out. Otherwise, I probably would've done it by now. It's frustrating. I wish I could say something to the extent of what you're saying now on my FB. God bless, Carol. You continue to be an inspiration.

Shel said...

My gay ex has pitched such a fit about Facebook. We were FB friends before I found out he was gay and asked for a divorce. He blocked me from seeing his wall but I never blocked him. After all, I have nothing to hide. But then he asked me to unfriend him because it was getting too emotionally devastating for him to see my daily statuses. Gee. I hate that he can't handle my ability to move on without him. He also asked me to unfriend his family and personal friends because he's still in the closet and heaven forbid they should figure out he's gay because I'm friends with you or other gay-affirming folks.

You're such an inspiration of how a relationship COULD be when a spouse reveals he/she is gay. My situation was ugly because of his actions and fighting me in court. It's all my fault, ya know, that he's gay and promiscuous. ~rolls eyes~

Trista Winstead said...

Amen sister! This sounds like it could've been written by me too. I love reading your blog! Thank you so much for your outreach to other straight wives like me. -Trista

Anonymous said...

Carol, I spent a couple of hours reading today. I wanted to post and say that I'm grateful for you and what you stand for. We may be different in small ways (I'm single, not a Christian and have never heard Ray's work) but we have one big thing in common - I believe strongly that God's love is like a bottomless well, enough for *every* person who wants to drink. There will never be a shortage, so I'll never understand why some people feel the need to deprive others. It can't be about thirst, so it must be about power.

You, Ray, your allies and Soulforce have both hands firmly on the rope, and no matter how hard they try, they can't hate us away from the well.

ohchicken said...

what was the verdict? added?

Carol said...

...for the verdict...I got a nice reply telling me that I'm loved, and that this person might have different beliefs, this person still want to be friends. It was kind enough in spirit that I added the friend. :)