Wednesday, April 28, 2010

How can I promote Ray's new CD?

Some will ask how I can promote this new CD.  My answer is not simple to understand, but it is also, like Ray expresses, true.


Ray Boltz has never done anything to purposely hurt me or cause me pain.  He wanted nothing other than to let me escape his ultimate acceptance of his own God-given sexual orientation.   Yes, it might have been easier if I'd known a little bit before the 30-year mark, but I didn't.  And at the point when one person of a mixed-orientation marriage is gay, you have to deal with that reality.  That is what I've done. 


I am letting people know that if there were any other solution, we'd have found it.  I'm letting other straight spouses know that if they are married to a gay person,you just might need to listen to, "God knows I tried," in order to realize that you are loved, but not in the way that you deserve.  And when a parent or family member needs to hear the heart of a gay person, they might listen to, "I chose," and realize that gay people don't choose their sexual orientation.  And for the Christians who struggle with their responses to gays in their churches and communities, I'd suggest that you listen to, "Who would Jesus love?"  

And those suggestions are just so folks can TRY to understand how people who are gay feel in just a small way.  If it takes a few "listens," so be it - there's hope if you will hear that same heart of Ray Boltz that you came to love before YOU knew. 

True also includes serious songs, as well as some with humor, and for those who are trying to reconcile their faith as it relates to self-acceptance, this entire collection of songs are true and self-accepting.  Ray has never written anything he didn't fully commit to, and this CD is no different.

Prior to this recording, Ray adhered to faith that fulfilled the stereotypical fundamentalist.  Now, he's still sharing faith, but it is deeper and it's honest in a way that he never could share before.  

Once you've heard it, I hope it helps you understand how I can support and promote this record.

11 comments:

GAsinger said...

Carol,
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts and feelings! I have listened and sung Ray's songs for as long as I can remember and I could not wait to hear his new songs about his journey. I was so excited to see on Facebook that his new project was ready for download so I purchased Ray's new CD on Amazon yesterday. After listening to TRUE on the way home from work yesterday, all I could do was sit in my car and cry. The music and the story of his personal journey touched my heart and life. Thank you for your sweet spirit as well... Please let him know that God is certainly STILL USING HIM to touch people.

Allen in Atlanta

hadleybaker said...

I will not deny that many Christians come across as hating people who are gay and lesbian. While I will not defend the actions of some of my fellow church goers, it must be also noted that the Bible is crystal on the issue of homosexuality. I am not going to argue about "what if someone was born that way?" Even if they were, does this "exempt" them from what God's Word says? If the Bible is true, then it must all be true. If we do not accept all of its truth, then we cannot accept any of it. I am not mad at Ray Boltz. His music has been a blessing to my life. I pray that he will repent and seek the Lord for the strength to walk away from this sin.

Anonymous said...

Carol,

I have been a lurker for about 4 months. I sincerely appreciate everything you have written; you give some of us hope that one day there will be a place in the Church for LGBTQ people. I already know there is a place for us in Kingdom of God.

May God continue to bless your life as you go about His work.

Sincerely,
Brian in Austin, TX

Carol said...

Hadley - You said: "I am not going to argue about "what if someone was born that way?" Here is what I say: Long ago, people thought that if someone had cancer, it was a demon. It was thought that a person who was mentally retarded should be locked up. As recently as 100 years ago, women were refused information about birth control (in some places they still are!). We no longer rail when a young girl gets pregnant without marriage, or when a couple lives together before marriage. We even have showers for the new baby, and we let brides wear white, even though that has traditionally been reserved for virgins. I would be embarrassed to go to a wedding where anyone questioned the white-dressed bride these days.

These things have all changed in our culture, and by that I mean that thinking people and loving people no longer treat others this way. Now, I tell you this...We have learned at least some about sexual orientation, and we no longer should turn people away from houses of faith because they are gay. We should not tell them they can't be with the one they love because of traditions that are 100s of years old. Then, once we allow them to have coupled relationships civilized, then just let them live their lives. You don't have to live a life with no hope of EVER having an honest sexual relationship! No one makes you! But I daresay that if you are straight, no one is policing your date-life.

You also say: "If the Bible is true, then it must all be true. If we do not accept all of its truth, then we cannot accept any of it."

I say: The Bible can be true, but it isn't all literal. We don't TAKE it literally, even if you think you do. I bet you haven't stoned any rebellious children in your community (nor should you). I assume you have not plucked out your eye when it offended you (nor should you). And I bet you even have some divorced friends, and I would hope that you are granting them grace to live full lives and re-marry if they choose. If you take the Bible literally, you would adhere without reservation. In America, in our churches, we have taken our faith and overlaid our culture on top of it (or is it the other way 'round?) Whichever it is, we can accept the Bible, because we do already, and receive truth, without picking on gay people (which we also have done, and we need to stop).

deb said...

Carol, Your comment to Hadley needs to be a post of its own. :)

Anonymous said...

Carol, your touching words and accepting spirit make me think of my dear former wife, whom I was so sad to leave 8 years ago when after many years in the "ex-gay" movement I finally determined to accept what was true. They were challenging times for us. We both loved Ray's music and ministry, and I was shocked, amazed, and renewed by his story ... and yours. We, too, have great kids, so my exwife and I are still connected, but it is sometimes strained. I shared your blog with her hoping that she'll find comfort in your experience. Bless you for sharing.
John in Indiana

Karen said...

Hadley,

Carol has given you an excellent response (by the way, I agree it could be a post itself) but I would like to add just a little to it.

You say that the Bible is crystal on the issue. I don't doubt that you have a copy in English that reads that way. The text in the original language simply doesn't support that translation. To read (or translate) the Bible through the assumptions of our own time and culture is to profoundly distort the message of the Bible. That is what you are doing.

hillsideslide said...

Here's the thing.

There is no consensus on how Christians view homosexuality. Some think it's a sin. Some think it's not.

I see no conflict btwn my faith and same-sex relationships. I believe that they fall under the themes of Love & "it is not good for Man to be alone."

AS a United Methodist, we incorporate Personal Experience, along with Scripture, Reason & Tradition into how we interpret God's call on our lives.

Karen's interpretation point factors into how I view those key scriptures.

Others choose to believe that Christian tradition and the 7, or less (depending on whether you count Old Testament laws), scriptures on this are clear: Homosexuality is a sin.

The Bible is pretty clear that we are responsible for judging ourselves only.

Paul makes that point about eating meat sacrificed to idols- some will see that as a problem/honoring those gods, while others know it's not a big deal. YET, they are all Christians.

Can't we take something from that?

Carol said...

To the anonymous commenters, the ones who think that I'm wrong about people who are gay:

I won't publish your comments that criticize gay people because of their sexual orientation, insisting that "some of my friends are gay." Let me share this with you: If you hold the opinion that they are "openly practicing the homosexual lifestyle," and you don't approve, they don't really think of you as their friend.



I won't publish the messages that say that gay people must be denied freedom to share their lives with another adult to whom they are emotionally and physically attracted. When you (anonymous commenters) say that someone is "practicing an open homosexual lifestyle" I know you are drawing lines of rejection, and that you assume that all people who are gay adhere to crazy and irresponsible sex - and that isn't true.

I won't publish comments that assume that molestation is the source of same-sex attraction. This is not based in fact.

I refuse to publish comments that call gay people sinners in the same way as murderers, pedophiles, rapists, or those in incestuous relationships.

There are other reasons that I reject comments, but tonight it's late, and this is my short list.

Mary Kay said...

Carol:
As we talked before my parent's are AG and I hated the way they judged people so when I got out on my own I became Catholic because they showed compassion and forgiveness and no hate. Sorry if I repeat myself here.

But, I hope you don't mind if I copy some of your blogs to show my parent's pastor.

As I told you before my 16 year old daughter is a beautiful singer. But she is shy. My mother begged her to sing a song at my parent's church for the Mother-Daughter Banquet. My girl's grew up listening to Ray Boltz. So, my little one thought the song "Thank You" would be really special to sing at the banquet. My mom told the pastor's wife (who is the praise and worship leader) that my daughter will sing that song. The pastor and his wife had no problem with it (they did not know Ray was gay). Well their daughter-n-law who is from Muncie was putting together the programs. She immediately called the pastor and gave him an earful on Ray. Some of it was not true because you have shared almost everything. The pastor called my parents and told them my daughter needed to pick a different song by a different artist.

She did not pick that song because she supports the gay and lesbian community she picked it because she thought that was a very appropriate song and she knows it by heart. She likes Michael English too and they asked her to sing Your Love Amazes Me. She refused. She said Michael had a past in the late 90's and everyone forgave him and if people can not forgive and accept Ray then she is not singing and is going to "boycott" the banquet. Well, she is my daughter and I want to be with my mother my I need to "boycott" it as well and support my daughter!

I just can't believe how shallow some Christians or so called Christians can be!

Hugs and Prayers!
Mary

Barbara Naugle said...

Wow.... what a truely powerful message you and Ray have both given by both your testimony and witness. I was very skeptical before listening to Ray's new songs and reading the words on his blog. To answer the question, "Would God discriminate?" that really broke my heart. I could hear Ray's heartbreak as he sang about choices. Thank you for reminding me that God loves us all just as we are. My heart goes out to you and your family as you continue to heal and draw strength from others and from our great physician.
God Bless!