Monday, June 15, 2009

Proud in an allied way

Since this month is full of Pride events, I'm making it clear for all the record: I'm a proud ally of my gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender friends! It's not that I understand everything, and for sure I don't know what it's like to be discriminated against, but I DO know that God made us all, we are all loved by God, and all of us deserve the same rights!

So I ask myself: How do I make a difference? How do I express the respect and PRIDE I have in these gay friends?

To begin with, I don't hate my ex-husband, who came out about 4 1/2 years ago to me and our immediate family. Later, in Sept., 2008, he revealed this to the greater public through an interview in the Washington Blade.

Next, I make supportive comments on blogs. These are connected to my name, and I'm not anonymous any more. I'm free to support the people and ideas I believe in.

I share stories and blogs of interest on social networking sites like facebook and twitter. This recently led to a "friend" who "unfriended" me. I was kind of surprised since she's a local person from the church I used to attend. Hmmm...why was I surprised?

In conversations I speak up for the rights of gays. I won't tolerate jokes that ridicule what it's like to be gay. This is both easy and it's hard, especially when you have bozos who don't listen to reason or are insensitive. I don't mind a bit to speak up, but I'd like to know the IMMEDIATE comeback in every situation, in order to say what I think and believe.

This is a small thing, but I put a little rainbow-colored whirly-gig in my plants, and I aimed it at the preacher's house across the street. I know, that's a little bit of attitude, but I LIKE IT!

I read and try to keep up with issues that involve equal rights. I post stories on my blog, with comments on how they affect my life. I try to discuss these issues with people who can be swayed in a positive way, and I try not to inflame the rest of the crowd. Sometimes I fail at that, but I've heard it said, "You draw more flies with honey than you do with vinegar," and even though I don't LIKE flies, I think the point is evident.

Of those who become upset with me, I figure that this is a minor thing, and I call them not friends but, "former connections." I also know that I've made friends among people that experience crap from those who aren't listening, and I'm proud of those discriminated-against friends. It isn't hard to stand up with PRIDE for FRIENDS.


The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

I LOVE the raimbow-colored whirly-gig pointed at the pastor's house. And I love your blog. I so respect and admire you and your work. Gives me hope for Christianity. :)

ohchicken said...

God bless you, friend. you make a whole lot of us abomination types feel loved. thank you.

Brittanicals said...

I like the rainbow whirly-gig as well! And I love that I have found someone who shares my heart for the glbt community.

Btw, how are the plants? What garden project are you doing this week?

(oh, and this sounds really weird, but I once turned a mirror in my house to face a neighbor who was driving me nuts. Long story, but she shared lots of negativity. Always. And so I shined it back at her. Not sure if it really helped, but I felt better. And now she leaves us pretty much alone, maybe because I felt more confident and protected.)

Anonymous said...

:D. What a great post. Does the pastor get the significance of the rainbow whirly-gig?

Carol said...

Black sheep - Probably not. I never see him look this way, doesn't and has never called or checked to see if I could use support or help. I don't feel very kindly toward him, but try not to be bitter. He's had many opportunities (like when he comes and goes from his house and I'm in the yard) but for me it's too late. There has been contact, like when he locked himself out of his house and it was about 95*. He came to call his wife, but he didn't get personal. Another time he crossed the street to come to a HUGE rummage sale I had. Nuthin'. So I guess the whirly-gig might be my way of flipping him off. (oops, there goes that attitude)

deb said...

I'll post here what I put on my blog comments about you today:

Thank you for your openness about your life.

I know there are many who are taking your honesty, and Ray’s, as an opportunity to attack you and Ray (in the name of God, of course). There are people who have chosen to reject you and Ray, because of his coming out, and because of your support for him and all lgbt persons. They are misinformed.

I know you to be an open, honest, loving, giving, devoted Christian woman. If those who speak badly of you and Ray were to look at your history, they would see that your history and your present life give you credibility.

The one good thing I see about people criticizing you and Ray, by name, is that those who need the truth that is in your personal story will be able to find you because of those who have named you and criticized you.

For anyone who has heard of Ray Boltz or Carol Boltz, and anyone who is married and gay or married to a spouse who is gay, you are not alone. Carol has opened her heart to the world, and you can find support, encouragement, comfort and hope in the pages of her personal web page My Heart Goes Out.

Thank you, Carol, for the light you shine in this world.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Carol, I found your blog through a comment at another site. As the ex-wife of a gay man and a Christian, I share your commitment to GLBT equality and applaud your willingness to forgive and to work for justice for ALL God's children.

And I love the rainbow whirly-gig! :-)


hillsideslide said...

You totally rock, Carol.

Today, at the grocery store, I passed by a rack of pinwheels and thought of you!