Further questions about why I don't publish certain comments that I deem as hurtful

	One of the very thoughtful people who wrote some comments that I later refused to publish is Hadley Baker.  He and I have shared a couple e-mails, and although I consider his input to be worthy of dialogue, I do not agree with his views on gay people.  He wrote to me last week, and has agreed that I can use his name in sharing what he had to say.

Hadley wrote this:  

 

Carol,

 

I know you did not choose to publish my last comment on your blog.  I guess I would like to just leave you a final thought.  I would also like to thank you for emailing me back on my last email and comment.  Here's my thought:

 

I cannot help but notice that those who share your view on sexual orientation, gay marriage, etc. seem very close minded to opposing views.  I know it could easily be said that those who share my view are the same way.  But here is the difference as I see it.  I am not trying to silence the voice of people who share your view.  If someone wants to speak out and voice their beliefs on gay marriage, sexual orientation, etc., I do not have a problem with that.  I think is their constitutional right, even though I disagree with them.  However, in many modern countries of the world those who deem homosexuality to be immoral are being silenced. 

 

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2010/may/10050310.html

 

It would seem to any objective person that your agenda is to tell people like me that their beliefs are wrong.  You don't just want us to hear you, you want us to agree with you.  And now the governments of this world are getting involved and attacking the church or those with a moral objection to homosexuality.  It's happening in Canada and in the UK.  Soon enough in the US, people like me may be thrown in jail because of our "hate speech" (which is not hatred at all).  I just find it ironic that you would not want to publish views that disagree with yours, as though you are nervous to debate a view that challenges your own.

 

As I have said before, I am not angry at you, or Ray, or anyone else in the gay community (including supporters).  But I do not understand why people like me are being called a "hater"...since when is someone filled with hate because they adhere to their sincere beliefs of the Bible?  I do not understand this at all.  I can say as someone who disagrees with you, that you will do a lot more to gain merit and credibility if you will be open to dialogue rather than diatribe.  And I would say the same thing to the many people who share my views.  We all need to be open to discussion, to looking at the Bible and seeing what it really says.  Just a thought.  Thanks for hearing me out.

 

Hadley Baker

Dallas, TX

...here is my reply:

 

(and I made just a couple edits)

Hi John,

Sorry I'm just getting back with you.  I had my daughter and granddaughter here since Tuesday, and just haven't had time to reply to your courteous e-mail.  My daughter's trip was a short one, and all I wanted to do when I wasn't working was to hold the baby.  :)

You are asking about why I won't publish certain viewpoints, and your impression is that I am "nervous to debate a view that challenges" [mine].  No, that isn't the case, but let me explain. 

I read over the article on the street preacher in the UK, and I see where you think Christians are being silenced.  It appears to me that he was doing "street-preaching," and that he was expressing himself in regard to how he sees gay people.  He sees them as sinful and a threat to society.  He was silenced.

Meanwhile, I have read 1000s of e-mails directed to Ray and myself (sent to us as comments on his website), saying the same thing with slight variations, over and over:  Gays don't know the Bible.  Ray (specifically) has chosen a sinful lifestyle.  Fans are saddened and disappointed.  Ray didn't trust God.  Gay people just need to turn to Jesus - really.  Ray is leading others to hell.  Ray is a monster who was never saved.  Ray should just ignore what he feels.  If gay people were really saved, they wouldn't have "this problem."  Ray is demon-possessed.  Gays don't deserve forgiveness, as they have turned away from God.  Ray purposely deceived others as he sang.  (and MORE and more and more comments on blogs)  This is what we don't need more of, anywhere. 

Let's see---how many more phrases can I recite?  Plenty.  And honestly, do you think that fundamentalists will stop saying those things?  I don't think so.  They are perfectly free (and legally able) to continue to say those things IN THEIR OWN CHURCHES.  That is not going to change quickly - although I do believe it should and it is what I work toward.

I could nicely reply that I disagree with how you see all this - but it will not do me any good.  I can only reject offensive things that are said on MY blog, and try to help others tell their stories.  Each one of them deserve to have a venue where the rhetoric is NOT SAID.  And my blog is one of those places. 

I've wanted to sarcastically reply to some people's comments and say, "Oh, gee, now I see!  Your meanness and stupidity has changed my mind!"  But that's mean on MY part.  I am not mean at all, and I try to not respond in a mean way - even when I feel like a flippant remark is what I want to do/say.

What I DON'T want to happen is that my little blog is a place of more anger and venom spewed from ... what ends up as pretty close to hate.  I just want others to hear gay people's stories - and to listen to them. 

I realize that your faith is that being gay is wrong.  I had heard that during all the days of my church life, especially since it was a hot-topic since the Pat Robertson days of "AIDS is God's wrath" against homosexuals.  The anti-gay arguments have been used to raise money and spread fear.  Gay people, meanwhile, are just trying to live without being condemned.  They've heard all the "love the sinner, hate the sin" stuff, and they know they are no better or worse than anyone else.  Many have been raised in churches and places of faith, yet even though they adhered to ALL that was required of them, they still were/are not straight.  Your arguments are not going to change them, nor change me from being their ally. 

In addition, I would never want any one of my gay friends to have to read the same old arguments that you (or maybe not you, but others) would put forth.  That is not what my blog is for, and like I have said, I will not allow it. 

Sincerely,
Carol Boltz