Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Sex, God's way (and you know it has to be missionary)

Someone identified as "Love you" on Wednesday at 5:28p.m. in the comments on "Sunday morning sermon topic:  Marriage" wrote this: 

Do you suppose in your efforts to help others, you end up hurting still others? Do you think that your stole would be offensive to friends of Jesse Dirkhising? Is what you feel more important than the feelings of others? Do the rules and demands that you impose on others apply to you? You say that you are not patient with those who disagree with your feelings...yet you demand that others be patient with your disagreement. Is that right?

There are people who truly, really, LOVE children and have "always" lusted for them. These people try to live a normal life; they do not want to be physically attracted to children; and they grieve because they are. But, they can not change. Would you say that "God made them this way"? How about those who really, truly are attracted to dead bodies; to animals; desire bondage and rape; or only find pleasure in pornography? Is that the way God made them? Why would homosexual deviancy be different in the eyes of God than the others I mentioned? Why would God limit his love and understanding to only the deviancy of homosexuality? Many people feel that they were not "made" to be monogamous. They can not be faithful. They NEED many sexual partners. They were "made that way". Yet God clearly says Adultery is a sin. Why? Is God really glorified in homosexual and other "preferences"? Really? Prov.14:14 and 16:25. The truth is; "For all that is of the world---the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life--is NOT of the Father, but is of the world." 1Jn2:16 God made man perfect and good, and provided him with a wife/a woman as the perfect companion. Lust is a part of our fallen nature--not good. I ran a daycare. You are a mother; you and I know that naturally we are sinners. I never had to teach a child to BE selfish--TO hit; TO grab toys or TO throw a fit when they want thing their way! Their natural nature was NOT good. As a loving parent, we must guide them away from these natural ways. Just as God does not want us to steal, kill or lie to get our own way; he doesn't want us to commit sexual sin either. You may get all the world to agree and participate in your sin; but in the end, God says you will pay in your soul..Romans 1:27. It isn't cruel punishment, but truth that if you stick your hand in a flame, you will hurt and be burned. A loving father warns and puts a barrier around the flame to protect his children. Our society has been the barrier. You are trying to remove that barrier, to your hurt, and to burn all our children.

 To which I replied: 

What a tragic story of Jesse Dirkhising, and I’m so sorry if this was a friend of yours.  I presume, rather, that you are offended by the coverage that was lacking when he died, and you think that because he was murdered by two gay men, that it was BECAUSE they were gay.  No, they were violent rapists, murderers.  How awful.

It seems to me that you confuse sexuality, violence, and lust toward other objects, and even non-consensual sex acts, with ADULT, CONSENTING, individuals, legally pursuing relationships of their choice.  The important part is the relationships, and not the sex act, even though that IS the end result of sexuality.  I have said before that I do not understand sex without love, even though I know, of course, that it happens between both straight and gay people.  I also believe in commitment, even though there are situations where that does not enter into sexual relationships, either.  Sex just happens to be part of how we are put together, and yes, there are ways that we disrespect others as well as the way our Maker intended us to use this gift. 

You will not find anywhere on my blog that I condone pedophilia.  I repeat often that God DOES love us all, and no one is judged except by God, nor is God’s love measured by how we make love or with whom.  Rather than bring up various sexual preferences, I repeat that I’m not talking about how people “do it.”  My emphasis is that ALL of us need love, respect, and acceptance. 


Shel said...

Some people just don't get it, do they Carol? And trying to explain is like poking forks in your eyeballs -- painful and pointless. Yet you are so patient and try again and again and again to explain.

Carol said...

Shel- It takes a lot of effort, and yes, it does matter what others think. You can see that I mean that, and I thank you! But even when it matters, it does not make the frustration and sometimes the anger go away. It just makes us have to try harder to overcome the ignorance with gentleness. In the entry this person pointed out, where I said I was losing patience, I also stated that I don't WANT to do that. A very wise woman (my mother-in-law) shared this old saying with me years ago: "It's easier to draw flies with honey than with vinegar."

Daniel said...

I think the thing that I find most offensive about such an approach to the subject is the ignorance. As a Gay Christian, who is in a committed monogomaus relationship, I am insulted/frustrated when people generalize the "gay lifestyle" as if they know what that even means.
I appreciate your reply.

hillsideslide said...

Stereotyping, ignorance & unexamined statements of belief are all challenged when people meet the real thing- those individuals who are affected by a stance on an "issue."

Thanks for working so hard to build bridges of understanding. You are helping people.

Birdie said...

I'm too busy dealing with my own sins to be worrying too much about others', unless they are hurting someone else.

That said, I think it's important to distinguish the oft-compared pedophilia from homosexuality. A true pedophile does in fact see a child as a peer and feels love toward children. The relationship can never be consensual because of the imbalance of power, no matter how loving the adult may seem to be. It is that lack of equal power that makes genuine consent impossible, and a child will not remain a child. Therefore the relationship is wrong and that's why we make it illegal.

Pedophiles are not the same as molesters and abusers, who are monsters that often do not care what sex their victim is. With a molester or abuser it is all about corruption of power and control. Sex is a weapon, not the end result.

You will note that adult same-sex relationships have nothing to do with either pedophilia or molestation. A healthy gay adult has the same emotional and physical needs as a healthy straight adult. And how they vary, just as the straight population does! We can no more dictate how a gay relationship must be played out than anyone can tell me how my marriage must be. Every successful marriage/partnership ends up being defined by its partners and no one else.

I always appreciate your thoughtful responses, Carol. Keep it up!

Carol said...

Thanks, Birdie, for the knowledge you share with us! You have provided the descriptions that we need to know, and I appreciate your input. Blessings!

Doorman-Priest said...

As I was reading I was thinking about adult consentual relationships, but you'd already nailed it.

Lloyd Peacock said...

Dear Carol:

As you found out, church can be an uncomfortable place to be for people who are of a different orientation, or friends of gay and lesbian people. Imagine a young man or woman who is dealing with their sexual orientation, attending a church with a homophobic pastor. Also imagine that young person's parents shouting "Praise The Lord" as the pastor screams at the congregation, " ALL HOMOSEXUALS WILL BURN IN HELL"! Where does that child go to for help in dealing with his or her "Problem," I say problem, because our sexuality seems to be a major problem for others. Is it any wonder so many of our youth, and often some that are not young commit suicide, rather than continue to face the ongoing attacks on their very being. We all have seen the picture of Jesus, standing at the Church door, asking to be allowed in? There is no knob on the door, so He can't open it. It can only be opened from the inside.
Many Bible scholars believe that the picture signifies Jesus knocking on the door of our heart, asking us to let Him in. I see the picture a little differently. I believe Jesus is actually trying to get into the Church, because He, and His love for all of us has been missing from the Church. As a gay man. I also stand at that door, along with millions of others,knocking, and asking to be allowed in. However I do have Good News for God's children. He is raising up an army of believers who know that Jesus also died for us, and there is a place at the table. No longer to be forced to eat the scraps that are tossed our way, but to actually partake in the feast. Carol, thank you for what you do, you are a member of God's army. I am providing a link to a beautiful song that my Bob sang at Believer's Covenant Fellowship in Virginia last year. Hope you and your readers enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

If someone believes homosexuality is a sin and condemned by God -- then don't do it!! But, please, leave the judging of other people to the only one who has the authority, God Himself.