I lay awake thinking of my two recent posts. I know that I search for understanding, and it isn't enough to try to write a few paragraphs and think I've said enough. There are so many issues regarding why mixed-orientation marriages break up, with the predominant result that the straight spouse walks away hating ALL gays. I tried to describe my life - and that is the only view I know - and simplify why I feel like I do.
I've read so many, many e-mails, several letters, and some people who have spoken to me, and they really think that they have a corner on "right." They believe they understand the Bible and that their own interpretation is the only way to view homosexuality. But it is bigger than that. They hold ideas that don't hold up in reality - yet they persist in saying, "Ray is deceived..." or, "Ray has fallen..." etc.
So, yes, my writing about all this is defensive. I want to set the record straight, and there is little way to do that. My words seem to be ineffective, and I don't trust my ability to say what I want to say. I have this little blog, and I hesitate about how personal to be. I start, then I worry that I'll be criticized - and I don't want to chicken out. I'm leaving the posts as I wrote them.