Just now the two women began to speak about Perez Hilton and Miss USA competition and gay marriage. I was just getting to my personal e-mails (which is in a different room than my office) and my ears perked up. I paid attention and WATCHED as they played a clip of Perez (who was a judge for the contest) asking Miss America what she thought. Here is her response:
I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And...you know what? In my country...and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But I think that is how I was raised, and that is how it should be between a man and a woman.
So many things need to be questioned in her response! In saying that people CHOOSE "one or the other" she's assuming that sexual attraction is a choice. In saying that people "choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage," she's supposing that everyone must be bi-sexual. (I don't really think she's saying that.) And just because it was "how she was raised," does NOT mean that our country should continue to disallow civil rights to the gay population.
So I listened to Kathy Lee proceed to say that Miss America spoke, "without being mean." I heard Hoda chime in as they both said "we all have our opinions." I know that Kathy Lee speaks as a fundamentalist Christian - not sure about Hoda. I'm continually puzzled that "they" think that as long as they aren't screaming, "God hates fags," that somehow it is "not being mean." It's just that they are making gay people "less than," straight ones, they are denying civil rights, and they do think that only their view is Christian.
I hear that all the time. I hear that those who have religion are "not being mean," and that they "don't hate." I heard it on Sunday in conversation, "Oh, I believe we should love them [gay people]," but I knew this person felt a righteous superiority over what she sees as a group of "others."
I realize that we should all "get along." I know that Jesus said, "by this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." But how do we - how do I - bridge this gulf of difference? How do I break through the HUGE division of people who hold the opinions like Kathy Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb, Miss America, and the woman I conversed with on Sunday? These represent a huge tide of opinion.
As gay marriage is supported in more states LEGALLY, (four states so far) I believe there is change coming. I also want to say that it doesn't even matter to me if gay people want or don't want to get married - their lives are JUST LIKE anyone else, and are deserving of the same rights and privileges of life as any other person! Regarding change, I am one that changed, and I keep hoping to affect others. I keep thinking, "If I, as the former wife of a gay man, can change my belief system, and come to realize that there is no difference regardless of sexual attraction, won't others see that as well?"