The past few years have been a growing experience for me, and I feel I have changed. The greatest factor in my life-changes is that I was married to a gay man. Sharing that will help me, and I hope others won't feel so alone.
The article carries communication reports that involve Hinkle's wife, and I'm so sad for her. If she is finding this information for the first time, it will be devastating to her life, her family, and her emotions. I'm so sorry for her.
When will people live truthfully? Why do gay men continue to hurt their wives in this way? And for Hinkle to contact and pay for sex?...Well, there is no excuse for a married man to behave like this. And to make it all worse, this state representative has voted to deny rights of marriage for gay people, while he secretly took advantage of HIS needs.
I don't want to hear that this guy is straight and has "strayed." No, he's gay, he's married to a woman, he's voted against glbt people's rights, and he's hurt everyone involved.
First off - I watch TV. I like TV. I start my day with either the TODAY show, or turn the channel to CNN for some real news. When the TV is set for TODAY, I go about filling orders, having my breakfast, walking next door to see my dad, and so forth. At 10:00 the "4th hour" of TODAY comes on, and most days, I hate it. I only leave it on so that at 11:00 ELLEN comes on. I really can't stand Kathie Lee Gifford's mean-girl attitude, and I don't like how Hoda Kotb sucks up to her. I've told my kids how I hate the show, and they look at me with puzzled looks as they say, "Mom, why do you leave it on?" Good question! (I think one reason I am glad I've watched it is when I get to see the spoofs of it on SNL!)
Just now the two women began to speak about Perez Hilton and Miss USA competition and gay marriage. I was just getting to my personal e-mails (which is in a different room than my office) and my ears perked up. I paid attention and WATCHED as they played a clip of Perez (who was a judge for the contest) asking Miss America what she thought. Here is her response:
The transcript:
I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And...you know what? In my country...and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But I think that is how I was raised, and that is how it should be between a man and a woman.
So many things need to be questioned in her response! In saying that people CHOOSE "one or the other" she's assuming that sexual attraction is a choice. In saying that people "choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage," she's supposing that everyone must be bi-sexual. (I don't really think she's saying that.) And just because it was "how she was raised," does NOT mean that our country should continue to disallow civil rights to the gay population.
So I listened to Kathy Lee proceed to say that Miss America spoke, "without being mean." I heard Hoda chime in as they both said "we all have our opinions." I know that Kathy Lee speaks as a fundamentalist Christian - not sure about Hoda. I'm continually puzzled that "they" think that as long as they aren't screaming, "God hates fags," that somehow it is "not being mean." It's just that they are making gay people "less than," straight ones, they are denying civil rights, and they do think that only their view is Christian.
I hear that all the time. I hear that those who have religion are "not being mean," and that they "don't hate." I heard it on Sunday in conversation, "Oh, I believe we should love them [gay people]," but I knew this person felt a righteous superiority over what she sees as a group of "others."
I realize that we should all "get along." I know that Jesus said, "by this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." But how do we - how do I - bridge this gulf of difference? How do I break through the HUGE division of people who hold the opinions like Kathy Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb, Miss America, and the woman I conversed with on Sunday? These represent a huge tide of opinion.
As gay marriage is supported in more states LEGALLY, (four states so far) I believe there is change coming. I also want to say that it doesn't even matter to me if gay people want or don't want to get married - their lives are JUST LIKE anyone else, and are deserving of the same rights and privileges of life as any other person! Regarding change, I am one that changed, and I keep hoping to affect others. I keep thinking, "If I, as the former wife of a gay man, can change my belief system, and come to realize that there is no difference regardless of sexual attraction, won't others see that as well?"
So many times I find that someone else says what I mean in ways better than I do. Here is an expample of that, and, rightly so. Keith Olberman is a professional communicator. While I'm not that, I do have some things I want to say to go along with this.
Earlier this year my former husband officially and publicly came "out" as a gay man. I had gone through the shock of that nearly 4 years previously, gone through the pain, heartache, sadness, and grief. Gone through the near-loss of faith in Christ, gone through dealing with so many, many questions. Fortunately, although I still experience many normal emotions of dealing with all this, I proudly stand with him as someone who loves and affirms the relationships of gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender individuals. And if it means anything, I want to post this video statement by Mr. Olberman.
Because of the nature of this blog, I find it important and interesting to have open comments and sharing of personal stories. Anonymous commenters are allowed in most situations. I will allow no disrespect (in my opinion) of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer people on behalf of sexual orientation or identity.
Please note that I welcome all comments and personal e-mails. Some comments will not be posted, based on my personal discretion. However, I reserve the right to include your comments and relevant portions of personal e-mails and messages to me, as content of this blog, or wherever their use can best be afforded.
I will never reveal personal identities without your permission (name, location, specific employer, etc.)
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