Monday, May 4, 2009

Facebook opinions

Facebook is a dangerous place for opinions. I was recently made aware of a long comment stream. I wanted so badly to post my thoughts, but instead I decided to rant here instead.

When friends start blowing off their type-written remarks, it can come across mean and hateful - which, no doubt, it is. So, here I'm going to respond - and if by chance some of my facebook "friends," come across it, at least I put it on my own blog, not someone else's page. When the shouting got all high and mighty, here was what I ALMOST posted this:

I just heard of this diatribe, and I have to throw my hat in with the love that God has for us all - and by that I DON'T mean that I just want to warn people of Hell. I mean that I support and affirm loving relationships of gay and straight people. I stand as a Christian that Christ sees NO DIFFERENCE in any of us in regards to sexual orientation. I'm offended that some would call this a choice - as when did you self-righteous straight people decide one day to be straight? For the girls, I bet it was about in kindergarten, when you started chasing the little boys on the playground - maybe sooner. And for the boys, about the same time. Only thing is that for some of the boys and girls, they were chasing, even at that young, innocent age, kids of their same gender. Who among you are casting stones at that child - and later, the young adult? Are you really sure you want to compare same-sex love and attraction to murder and theft? How dare you? I only wish you would put yourselve

and there I ran out of space for a comment. If I went on, I'd have to hit "send," and then go on, and it was then that I quit.

I have talked personally to one of the women and expressed WHY I feel that being gay is NOT a choice. I have tried to personally let her know that if anyone should be off-put by a gay former husband, it would be ME. But I let her know personally, that I can't believe anyone would choose to be turned away by the church, turn their back on a fruitful career, say good-bye to family (and a wife) who, at the least, that person was best friends with. In the face-to-face conversation, I let her know that I felt it was more important to love, forgive, and see truth, rather than stick to what I'd been taught in church. Huh. You'd have thought (or I would) that this woman would give consideration to it personally, but I see that she likens being gay to murder and theft, and reckons being gay to simply who you decide to have sex with.

Ranting is not my speciality, and I'm not one to intentionally tick off friends of the community. But when I saw this woman's name with untrue and dogmatic comments, with no sympathy, and not one bit of effort to see life from a gay person's point of view, the LEAST I could do was rant HERE.

So as I cooled off and wrote this, I went back and changed what I wrote. I'm not sure what will come of it, but here is the comment I left:

Would anyone who holds the religious literalist point of view like to talk to someone who actually KNOWS how hurtful the church is to gay people? Have any of you tried to understand the pain that gay people go through when after years of prayer, they still hear from their church that they are likened to murderers, thieves, to sex-addicts and pedophiles? Would one of you who don't consider me "saved" like to discuss how this has affected my own life? Not on fb, but over coffee at my house? I'm not looking for offense, but for understanding. For those who are gay, for those who are straight, I fear that literalism and dogmatic diatribes will only make us further apart. I stand for Christ, and I stand for love.


deb said...

Carol, The world is a better place because of you.

hillsideslide said...

I'm grateful that you put yourself out there. Even though it hurts, you press forward with grace, compassion, understanding and wisdom.

You are a leader.

Mark said...

You're right of course. The vast majority of us didn't choose this. We discovered it. We experienced it. We suppressed it. We were foiled by it. We embraced it. I now cherish it -- because I fought it for so long, I've come to see it for the gift from our loving Father that it is.

But no, I didn't choose it. For all the reasons you gave, why would anybody in their right mind do so?

Thanks for caring and moving in the right direction -- that of love and bridge-building. It's hard. It's God's call on our lives.

Carol said...

Mark - when you say, "it's God's call on our lives," I really do believe that. Hard as it is, I feel a calling and a cause, and for some reason I'm right in the middle of the "bridge."